Saturday, January 2, 2010

Cheeky Personal Trainer--Just what I needed!

I, like many others in the U.S., have a fascination with the stories shown in full living blubber on "The Biggest Loser". I'm amazed at what these people have to go through mentally, physically and emotionally to overcome their weight problems. And judging from the amount of flesh shown in the first month by these folks, their weight problems are gigantic! But, the transformations are amazing!

Now, if I were standing in front of American in my pink sports bra and jogging tights, I'l have more than enough to show, but never quite as much as these folks walk around with. So, to say I could use a personal trainer is not understatement. I need someone to goad me on to bigger and better things, or should I say smaller and better things! Smaller belly, smaller butt, smaller arms, etc. You catch my drift. Enter Bob and Jillian--could I have someone like them in my life?

Now, I have no real excuse for not getting into shape on my own. I have a perfectly good treadmill downstairs, paired with an equally nice elliptical machine. Both are instruments of torture in my estimation, especially my elliptical. I can't stand to be on that more than 11 minutes at a time, it is such a painful experience! Lately, they've made good clothes hangers, dust collectors and are definitely in the way when the exercise room becomes the costume shop. I have the TV set up in front of them, a pleasant room to work out in, and there is no excuse for their neglect. The bathroom scale reads the same as the one at the doctor's office, so why not get going?

Why not? It is all SOOOOOO PAINFUL!

Lately I've tried a different workout, it is called KettleBells. These are weights, shaped roughly like a tea kettle, with a rounded handle attached to a ball of weight. I got several weights, and 10 workout videos to use with them. So far, I've made it through 1-1/2 of the introductory workout with the Kettlebells. I think it was doing some good, but I found that I needed the extra time in the weeks before Christmas, so I haven't done Kettlebells since Dec. 11.

My children must have seen that mom needed an extra boost in her fitness regime, because I was gifted with a Wii Fit for Christmas. They wanted to set it up for me on Christmas day, and when it asked me to step on board in front of the entire family, I rebelled! I'll do this in the privacy of my own living room, thank you, not in front of the entire family! I'd make a terrible contestant on "The Biggest Loser"--I won't even fess up in front of my family!

So, today, I got time to set it up. Bad news--I'm obese, have a high BMI, need to lose 50+ pounds to be my ideal weight (which I haven't been since my youngest child was born!). And I'm inflexible, have bad posture, can't balance to save my life, and who know what other bits of bad news I could get. So what else is new? I chose a svelt young man as my personal trainer, he was gentle but straightforward about my lack of ability on the balance board. And now, I get the idea that he might sass me if I miss a day!

Just what I needed, a cheeky personal trainer. I'll have to let you know if he shames me into becoming fit.

Can't we just take a skinny pill and make all transgressions of the past melt away?

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